Your spouse (mother, father, sister, brother, or adult child) is in an accident. You receive a phone call from the ER; they explain the situation and state that surgery is needed to save their life. They ask if you are the agent on their Georgia (or any other State) Advance Directive and can provide permission for surgery and life support, if necessary. “No” is the answer to their question. You remember hearing that every adult should have this legal document. You were going to talk to them, but it never seemed the right time.
What happens now? Is it too late? Yes, it may be. From now on, the healthcare system is in charge, and no one who knows and loves them can do much. Most people want to control or have autonomy over these life-changing decisions, but that may be impossible.
Without the legal paperwork, you are at the mercy of others. This is one of the critical reasons for completing these forms and should be done, especially as we age. When diagnosed with a chronic illness, such as dementia, is another case for taking steps to have healthcare documents and some other legal documents completed and with your agent(s). In this instance, waiting is foolish and a prescription for adding to your family’s challenges. As cognitive decline increases, the ability to understand and make reasonable decisions decreases. The ability to express your values and personal beliefs also decline. You may not be able to have any input into what happens. Completing the necessary legal documents is the way to avoid the above scenario.
You should see an Elder Law Attorney to have these documents drawn. When they hear the word “attorney,” many people automatically think of the expense without considering the costs of being able to control any decisions at a critical time. These costs may not be monetary, but there are costs to your families in other ways. If no one knows your wishes, how can they ensure they are respected? Even if you and your family have discussed your end-of-life wants and expectations, the healthcare system is in control if a legal document appointing an agent is unavailable. Many families have learned this the hard way compounding the stress they feel at this time when they are losing a loved one. You can control this outcome by understanding and completing these documents before you need them.
Receiving a dementia diagnosis heightens the urgency to take this step. If you wait, there will come a time when cognitive decline will not allow you to make rational decisions. An attorney can not accept your signature unless they know you understand the decision and the consequences. Many families have spent more on legal fees and other problems to correct the issues caused by not having engaged an attorney early.
Healthcare decisions are not the only ones impacted by the correct documents. Everyone needs a Financial Power of Attorney as well. This also allows an agent you appoint to handle any financial affairs you may have. They can pay bills, manage investments, sell property, and make necessary financial decisions for your benefit. So many families have no idea what a difference having this legal document can make in helping a spouse, parent, or loved one when they need it.
If you or a family member have not taken steps to plan for this critical aspect of aging, please consider discussing your wishes and getting in touch with an Elder Law Attorney. With the aging baby boomers, this is a growing section of the legal profession. To find an attorney in your area, go to the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) website, www.naela.org, and read the qualifications they are required to have. Each attorney has a brief statement explaining their areas of specialty. Invest a little now to save so much more later. Money is not the only consideration. You will have peace of mind knowing you will receive only the treatment you feel suits you and also knowing you are continuing to care for your family. This is one of the best gifts you can give, and they will appreciate it more than you know.
Lynn Ross, LMSW
DSF Director of Resources
