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Getting Your Affairs in Order: Why is it Important?

Today we see and hear a lot about decluttering and organizing our homes. Most of us think about tackling closets and drawers. Still there is one area we need to think about as well, our essential family documents including all legal, medical, financial, and personal.

It is easy to put off the monumental task of organizing the papers you need to keep. If you are like many families, you may find a safe place to dump them until you can do a thorough job. The problem with this solution is it’s not a very good solution. Your spouse or children may not know where to begin looking in an emergency. A disorganized box or drawer of folders or individual papers takes time to sort, and time may be limited. The following information from two sources gives you advice on what to keep and how to find them when needed. This checklist looks daunting, but if followed, it provides you and your family with the information required in the event of your illness or death.

Most Important Documents

The following list, while not exhaustive, is an excellent place to start gathering originals of the documents you need to keep forever:

  • Adoption Papers
  • Birth Certificate
  • Citizenship Papers
  • Death Certificate
  • Divorce Decree
  • Estate Planning Documents (Wills and Trusts, Health Care Directive, Power of Attorney,
  • Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST), Do Not Resuscitate (DNR)
  • Marriage License
  • Military Discharge Papers
  • Passport
  • Records of Paid Mortgages
  • Social Security Card

After you go through all the trouble of sorting your papers, you’re ready to tackle conundrum number two: “where to store them.”

Additional Info To Have On Hand
  • Name (First and Last)
  • Current Address
  • Home phone, Work phone, and Cell phone
  • All email addresses
  • Office Address and Office Contact Name/Phone#
  • Birthdate and Birthplace
  • Anniversary
  • Social Security Number, Driver’s License/State Issued ID Number, and State of Issuance
  • Street City, State, Zip, and Dates Lived There
  • Who employed?
  • Company Name, Company Address, and Supervisor Phone Number
  • Position Held, Dates Employed, Starting Pay, Ending Pay, and Reason For Leaving
  • Payroll Name, Branch, SSAN, DOB, and Place of Birth
  • Date Entered, Date Released, Officer/Enlisted, and Final Rank
  • Medical Issues
  • Child’s name before and after adoption
  • Birth mother name and DOB and Birth father name and DOB
  • Birth institution name and address
  • Location of Original Birth certificate
  • Completed reunion registry
  • Adoption agency name and contact info
  • Birth Certificate | Name | Location
  • Marriage License | Names | Location
  • Divorce Decree | Names | Location
  • Other Document | Name | Type | Location
  • Attorney | Name | Phone | Attorney Address | Specialty
  • Accountant | Name | Phone | Accountant | Address | Specialty
  • Name on Passport, Passport number, Issuing Country, Expiration Date, and Storage Location
  • Loyalty Program ID, Number Level, and Website
  • Global Entry ID /Who Number
  • Type, Location, Combination, and Key location (What is stored in?)
  • Date Closed
  • Other Keys – “What locks?” and “Where kept?”
  • Tax Year, Location of forms, Name of CPA, and Contact information
  • Federal tax owed, State tax owed, and City tax owed
  • Federal tax paid/ref, State tax paid/ref, and City tax paid/ref
  • Tax Year, Location of forms, Name of CPA, and Contact information
  • Address(es), Taxable Value, Tax Owed, and Is Homestead Exempt?
  • Type, Description, ID/Login (if needed), Password, Location, and How to restore? 
  • Website/Company, Login ID, and Password/PIN

Bank Accounts

  • Type, Institution, Account number, Owners of account, and Institution Contact Info
  • Statements Sent To (Physical Address or Email Address)
  • Automated Payments From, Location of checks, and Used Checkbooks
  • ATM/Debit Cards For Account and ATM PIN

Investments (including Mutual Funds, Annuities, and Stock)

  • Type, Name, Account Number, and Contact Info, Location of Information, Value, and Date

Retirement Plans (401K, Pensions, IRAs, etc.)

  • Type, Name, Account Number, Contact Information, Location of Information, Value, and Date

Debts and Obligations Owed to You

  • Type, Debtor, Debtor Contact Info, and Originating Date
  • Final Payment Date, Original Debt Amount, and Current Balance
  • Date Paid Off and Notes

Other Assets (Savings bonds, stock options, etc.)

  • Type, Name, Account Number, Contact Info, Location, Value, and Date

Loan Obligations

  • Type, Loaning Institution, Contact Info, Amount Paid Off, and Date
  • Account #, Originating Date, Final Payment Date, Loan Amount, Loan Balance, and Date

Credit Cards

  • Type (Visa, MC, etc.), Brand/Issuing Bank, Name On Card, Card Number, Expiration Date, Security Code, and Customer service phone
  • Card Website, Website ID, and Website password
  • Outside U.S. Customer Service Phone Number, Interest Rate, Balance, Credit Limit, and Date or Date closed

Other Debts

  • Type, Debt holder, and Holder Contact Info
  • Originating Date, Final Payment Date, Original Debt Amount, Current Balance, and Date Paid Off

Life Insurance Policies (includes Accident & Disability and Long Term Care)

  • Name, Policyholder, Policy number, Policy Amount, Policyholder Contact Info
  • Beneficiaries, Due Date, and How Is It Paid?

Health Insurance Policies (included Dental and Prescription Drugs)

  • Name Covered, Insurer, Policy Number, and Policy contact information
  • Network, Co-Pay Amount, Website, Cost/Month, Due Date, and How Is It Paid?

Car Insurance

  • Insurer, Drivers Covered, Car Make/Model, and Policy number
  • Contact Information, Coverage, Deductibles, Deductions, Due Date, and How Is It Paid?

Other Vehicle Insurance

  • Insurer, Drivers Covered, Car Make/Model, and Policy number
  • Contact Information, Coverage, Deductibles, Deductions, Due Date, and How Is It Paid?

Homeowners/Renters Insurance

  • Insurer, Location Insured, Policy Number, Contact Information
  • Deductible, Due Date, and How Is It Paid?
  • Items Explicitly Covered and Policy Notes
  • Type, Name of Company, Position, SSN/FEIN
  • Partner name and Partner Contact
  • Info Location of Business/Tax Forms and Location of Inventory
  • Name of Bank, Bank Account #, Credit Card Number(s), and PIN
  • Bank Website, Login I.D., and Password
  • Domain Name, Account ID, and Password
  • Web Host, Account ID, and Password
  • Email address(es) and Password(s)
  • Other Websites, Login I.D., and Password
  • Location, Type, Date of Purchase, and Estimated Value
  • Mortgage Holder, Mortgage Account Number, and Lender Contact Info
  • Property Taxes and Location of Paperwork
  • Type, Year, Make/Model, Color, VIN #, License Plate #, and State of Registration, and Location of Spare Key
  • Insurer and Policy Number
  • Odometer/hours, Notes, and Date
  • Subscription Type, Account Number, Company, Expiration Date, and Website

Long Term Health Care Directions (Self and Immediate Family)

  • Name, Situation, and Care desired

Organs, Tissue, and Body Donation Directions (Self and Immediate Family)

  • Name, Body part(s), and Donate/Do Not Donate

Guardianship of Children

  • Child Name, Guardian Name, Guardian Phone, Guardian Address, and Notes
  • Name, Date Updated, Time On Life Support?, and Do Not Resuscitate?
  • Institution To Handle Arrangements, Casket/Container Type, and Open/Closed?
  • Embalmed?, Burial/Cremation?, Where Interred?, and Who performs the ceremony?
  • Pallbearers?, Grave/Memorial Marker Details, and Ceremony speakers
  • Special Music, Notes, Food/Drink?, and Where Flowers/Donations Should Be Sent?
  • Location of Will and Other Notes About Final Arrangements
  • Company Benefits Department, Company H.R., and Phone Number(s)
  • Employee Number and Notes
  • Insurance Company, Company Contact number, Policy number, Agent Name, and Notes
Agencies To Contact
  • Social Security AdministrationContact Number: 800-772-1213
  • Veterans AdministrationContact Number: 800-827-1000
  • Pension Plan Company
  • Credit Bureaus (verify addresses) (send copies of death certificates)
    • Equifax – P.O. Box 105139 Atlanta, GA 30348
    • Experian – P.O. Box 4500 Allen, TX 75013
    • TransUnion – P.O. Box 2000 Chester, PA 190

Source: Modified from Dave Ramsey, Financial Advisor, www.ramseysolutions.com

Source: Modified from “The Big Book of Everything” by Erik Dewey www.erikdewey.com/bigbookmkllla.pdf

Picture of Lynn Ross, LMSW

Lynn Ross, LMSW

DSF Director of Resources

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End-of-Life Decisions: What’s Important to Me?

Your spouse (mother, father, sister, brother, or adult child) is in an accident. You receive a phone call from the ER; they explain the situation and state that surgery is needed to save their life. They ask if you are the agent on their Georgia (or any other State) Advance Directive and can provide permission for surgery and life support, if necessary. “No” is the answer to their question. You remember hearing that every adult should have this legal document. You were going to talk to them, but it never seemed the right time.

What happens now? Is it too late? Yes, it may be. From now on, the healthcare system is in charge, and no one who knows and loves them can do much. Most people want to control or have autonomy over these life-changing decisions, but that may be impossible.

Without the legal paperwork, you are at the mercy of others. This is one of the critical reasons for completing these forms and should be done, especially as we age. When diagnosed with a chronic illness, such as dementia, is another case for taking steps to have healthcare documents and some other legal documents completed and with your agent(s). In this instance, waiting is foolish and a prescription for adding to your family’s challenges. As cognitive decline increases, the ability to understand and make reasonable decisions decreases. The ability to express your values and personal beliefs also decline. You may not be able to have any input into what happens. Completing the necessary legal documents is the way to avoid the above scenario.

You should see an Elder Law Attorney to have these documents drawn. When they hear the word “attorney,” many people automatically think of the expense without considering the costs of being able to control any decisions at a critical time. These costs may not be monetary, but there are costs to your families in other ways. If no one knows your wishes, how can they ensure they are respected? Even if you and your family have discussed your end-of-life wants and expectations, the healthcare system is in control if a legal document appointing an agent is unavailable. Many families have learned this the hard way compounding the stress they feel at this time when they are losing a loved one. You can control this outcome by understanding and completing these documents before you need them.

Receiving a dementia diagnosis heightens the urgency to take this step. If you wait, there will come a time when cognitive decline will not allow you to make rational decisions. An attorney can not accept your signature unless they know you understand the decision and the consequences. Many families have spent more on legal fees and other problems to correct the issues caused by not having engaged an attorney early.

Healthcare decisions are not the only ones impacted by the correct documents. Everyone needs a Financial Power of Attorney as well. This also allows an agent you appoint to handle any financial affairs you may have. They can pay bills, manage investments, sell property, and make necessary financial decisions for your benefit. So many families have no idea what a difference having this legal document can make in helping a spouse, parent, or loved one when they need it.

If you or a family member have not taken steps to plan for this critical aspect of aging, please consider discussing your wishes and getting in touch with an Elder Law Attorney. With the aging baby boomers, this is a growing section of the legal profession. To find an attorney in your area, go to the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) website, www.naela.org, and read the qualifications they are required to have. Each attorney has a brief statement explaining their areas of specialty. Invest a little now to save so much more later. Money is not the only consideration. You will have peace of mind knowing you will receive only the treatment you feel suits you and also knowing you are continuing to care for your family. This is one of the best gifts you can give, and they will appreciate it more than you know.

Picture of Lynn Ross, LMSW

Lynn Ross, LMSW

DSF Director of Resources

Categories
Resourceful Articles

Hey, Care Partner! Are You Taking Care of You?

The term “self-care” has become a buzzword that, to some, can be viewed as a nice word for “selfishness.” As it relates to care partners, nothing could be further from the truth. Self-care is vital to the success of anyone meeting the physical and emotional demands of caring for a loved one living with dementia. A better term may be “self-compassion.” This expresses the importance of pursuing activities that nourish your well-being and being kind to yourself as you provide the best care possible for your family member. Here are a few suggestions you may want to consider.

Start by giving yourself credit for the challenging, complex work of caregiving. No one is perfect, so accept that fact and do your best to provide a safe, nurturing environment. You will face tasks, demands, and challenges you were not trained for every day. As well as the emotional toll your relationship with your loved one will take on you. No one is prepared for either role. Acknowledge this and find ways to be kind to yourself.

Many care partners neglect this critical aspect and continue to listen to their inner voice telling them how badly they are handling the current situation. They believe this harsh criticism and try harder to be the perfect care partner—an impossible task for anyone. Studies have found that many family care partners become ill and can no longer provide care. Many go on to die before the care recipient. This is one of the reasons self-care is so important. You don’t need to lose yourself completely, but find ways, even small ways, to care for yourself.

Street signs with text SELF CARE. Concept of mental spiritual health. Take care of yourself

Self-care takes as many forms as there are care partners. It is personal and should be what gives you pleasure and renews your energy. No matter how simple it may seem, if you enjoy it, then it’s right for you. If you’re unsure how to begin, ask yourself, “If I had only one day without work, family activities, or obligations, what would I do with my time?” Your answer may provide the secret to what you enjoy doing. With that answer, start thinking about ways to work these activities into your day. Be sure to cover all the aspects of self-care, which are emotional, practical, physical, mental, social, and spiritual. Many times you will cover several with one activity.

We hope you will think about the information and make an effort to consider what pleases you and recharges your batteries. Below are several websites that offer practical advice. If you are interested, I included a site with a Self-Assessment. You may want to complete it to understand how you address these areas of your life. This information is for you, but if you want to discuss the results, please email me: lynn@dementiaspotlightfoundation.org.

Additional Resources

Picture of Lynn Ross, LMSW

Lynn Ross, LMSW

DSF Director of Resources